In the past several years of my life it seems I have grown more and more indecisive. This provides a certain level of paradoxical behavior, considering the fact that the older you get and the more you move out on your own, so to speak, the more decisions one would be forced to make. (Let’s disregard the fact that as an INFJ I am indecisive anyway.)
So. This tends to create a problem. There are several reasons I believe I have become indecisive.
Primarily, I believe it started with college. Here’s the thing. I planned on college for my entire life. I knew I just had to get there, and that would be where I made something of myself. Everything I did in school whether it was sports, clubs, extracurricular activities, and even my job were all boosters for my resume and helped to acquire a significant scholarship. I enjoyed everything I did while in school, but ultimately, it helped me to stand out.
Once I arrived at college that is when I started to panic. You see I had planned just on college. I did not put the time into deciding what exactly I wanted to do for the rest of my life. That is a huge decision, and I was not sure I would make the right one.
Every college student changes their major several times in their college career. I chose writing, which I knew I was good at and loved. I do not regret that, and I am obviously using it! But, I pushed myself so hard for so long that I quickly burnt out. Once I graduated, I realized there was a lot more I could have and perhaps should have done.
As for the trouble deciding though, that really made it worse, because I chose to put off making the decisions. Why? To be candid—I did not trust myself enough to make the big decisions that would affect the remainder of my life. I like to plan. I’m a planner. I like to think out the entirety of a decision, and when they are that big, it is hard to see the end results. So, I tend to sluff them off with the “rationale” that I will know better in time. However, in not deciding, time passes, making the decisions for you.
Being indecisive for me came down to a self-esteem/confidence issue in which I saw that I was letting life happen to me instead of taking it by the horns. That is no real way to live as it inhibits your true potential and withers your dreams. Now, I am making choices and taking steps I never imagined I could do such as grad school and rewriting my first novel. There is a lot involved in these decisions, and if I look at the whole, I get overwhelmed. But here I am, walking it out one step at a time. And I owe that to finally giving myself a chance to chase my dreams even though it is risky. It is a chance well worth the risk, and completely worth taking the plunge and making the decision.
So, I encourage you to take that step to pursue your dreams. Don’t let the risks dissuade you. Choose to do something for yourself. Rip the Band-Aid off and throw away the crutches. No one can truly decide for you. So what will be your deciding factor? Will you choose, or by not choosing, will you let life choose for you?